When I was around 4 or 5, my mum took me to the opticians as she was worried about my eye sight — I kept bumping into everything. The result of said eye test was yes, my eye sight is pretty rubbish. Particularly in my left eye, I was that kid who walked around the playground with a patch on my eye, in an attempt to improve my vision. I can’t tell you how much my vision improved from the patch, however what I can tell you is, no amount of patches, eye tests or glasses could ever fix my clumsiness.
Over the years I’ve had many clumsy moments — I thought I would share them with you, for a glimpse into the life of a clumsy person.
Falling over while carrying the worlds biggest backpack, sleeping bags and a tent
I was walking to the bus stop, heading to a festival, with a lot of luggage tied to me in a variety of ways. I toppled over, a few metres before the bus stop. Onto my back.
I was strapped up to my backpack, and tent, and sleeping bags. My arms were restricted. I was laying on the floor, like an upside down turtle unable to turn itself over. Several people glanced at me and walked past. After what felt like an eternity, and elderly lady came and helped me — undoing what she could so I could get up from the floor.
This goes down for me as one of my most embarrassing clumsy moments, not helped by the fact that no one seemed to want to help me! Makes a funny story though!
Spilling diet coke on my lap in the car
I was sat in the car with my mum, sister and uncle, heading to a train station. As we turned the corner into the station car park, the can of diet coke in my hand spilled all over my lap… in the worst place.
My mishap was met with sympathy from all, which was a surprise to me as my family and friends like to wind me up about my clumsiness. The moment was over, and I was left with a very obvious wet patch over my crotch. Great, I thought. However I knew it would dry soon, hopefully.
We left the car and headed into the train station, my mum being a few steps behind me. As we entered the busy station, my mum shouts — as loud as she can… “Oh my god Bekk! Have you wet yourself?!” Cue all of the people in the station turning to look at us, and more specifically, me. Stood there, mortified, with my wet crotch.
Well, safe to say I should have been prepared for this, given the sympathy I was previously met with — I should have known my mum was preparing to embarrass her first born in public.
Breaking my thumb while carrying the laundry
Around ten years ago, I was carrying a large pile of washing, struggling to get out of the door while holding such a large pile, I attempted to force my way through the door, in the process I smacked my hand with force against the door frame… breaking the bone at the base of my thumb.
Chores are the worst!
Breaking my thumb changing the shake syrup at McDonalds
I’ve broken fingers and toes a lot over the years, but around 6 years ago when I had just started working at a new store of McDonalds, and when changing a syrup line, I broke my thumb. It was quite a nasty break, bending my thumb backwards with force — I had to take myself to A&E to be strapped up!
Not the best impression I wanted to give when just starting at the store, however it soon because just another funny story of my clumsiness to add to my collection.
Falling over and cutting a chunk out of my knee and leaving a scar
In 2012, my family moved house and now live opposite a lovely big park. I lived with them for around a year during this time, and one day decided the weather was nice enough for a stroll in the park.
I made it about 10 feet into the park, when I fell flat on my face. I stood up, in pain, and looked down. My trousers had a huge hole in them just below the knee, and my knee was ripped open, blood gushing out. I went back home, showered off the blood and noticed the gash in my knee was quite bad, possibly requiring stitches. Off I took myself to A&E, again… (thank God for the NHS!) Where they stitched my knee up.
When there, the doctor quizzed me about what had happened… a lot.
Where you drinking?
Did you black out?
Did you trip over something?
Just my feet, if that’s counts?
Are you sure you didn’t black out?
No, I really didn't.
He didn’t seem to believe I was clumsy enough to fall over thin air. Hey, doc! I really am!
Skate board cutting my head open
I was a wannabe skater girl as an early/pre teen, and took my skateboard everywhere with me. One week, on the way back from a holiday to Ireland, we stopped off at a little village in Wales, at a tiny park opposite a pub.
12 year old me decided to flip my skateboard up in the air and catch it. Again, and again, and again. Until, you guessed it, I cracked my head open. My mum shouted at me initially, until she saw the blood gushing out of my head and down my face. Probably one of the more gory injuries I’ve done to myself! We had to seek first aid assistance in the pub close by, luckily no extra help needed… although by the look of the scar on my head to this day, I maybe should have got stitches!
The above are by no means all of my clumsy moments, just some of the most memorable. On a nearly daily basis I’m walking into walls, spilling drinks, dropping things, and just making a bit of an embarrassment of myself!
Hey, I don’t mind. It gives people and myself a laugh, and many stories to tell!